This weekend Klaus turned twelve years old. Every birthday I plan to cook him a big steak, but I always forget, and he hasn't noticed yet. But twelve's a pretty big year for a dog so I got him two cans of the fanciest canned dog food they sell. He loved it, wolfed it all down in less than three minutes without stopping to breathe. Then he commenced whining for twenty minutes, explaining to me that two cans were a nice gesture and all, but could he please have some more. He liked it so much that he peed himself on the way out the front door of the building a short time later. Which put a bit of a damper on the evening (nyuck nyuck) as it got me worrying about how this was the third time he'd had such an accident this past month, not making it out of the foyer before letting loose.
On the phone with my mom later we got to talking about Klaus's age, and I remembered that I've been meaning for months to look up pet cemetaries and cremation and all that creepy stuff in order to be prepared because before moving to New York I always just planned to bury him in my parent's yard. Utterly depressing, I know, but it's necessary. And I only mention all these gloomy thoughts because in my searching I found this website where you can have your dog freeze dried. Yes, that's right, freeze dried. Just like astronaut ice cream. And their motto? "Because pets are family." It's true, my dog is like family, and I can't wait to get him freeze dried so I can put right on the couch next to where we keep our freeze dried Aunt Bertha. She's like family, too. And according to their price list, we can have our 85 pound dog freeze dried for the bargain price of $6,623. We probably could have saved a little, but I went ahead and splurged on their $38 cooler because that sounds like it might be a good idea. And an extra $340 for a raised head? Why of course! We wouldn't want him laying around with his freeze dried head on the floor.
On the phone with my mom later we got to talking about Klaus's age, and I remembered that I've been meaning for months to look up pet cemetaries and cremation and all that creepy stuff in order to be prepared because before moving to New York I always just planned to bury him in my parent's yard. Utterly depressing, I know, but it's necessary. And I only mention all these gloomy thoughts because in my searching I found this website where you can have your dog freeze dried. Yes, that's right, freeze dried. Just like astronaut ice cream. And their motto? "Because pets are family." It's true, my dog is like family, and I can't wait to get him freeze dried so I can put right on the couch next to where we keep our freeze dried Aunt Bertha. She's like family, too. And according to their price list, we can have our 85 pound dog freeze dried for the bargain price of $6,623. We probably could have saved a little, but I went ahead and splurged on their $38 cooler because that sounds like it might be a good idea. And an extra $340 for a raised head? Why of course! We wouldn't want him laying around with his freeze dried head on the floor.
We might step on him.
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8 comments:
[cover klaus's ears...] there was an article in the washington post recently (2/28/08) about a pet crematory in silver spring, md. it was titled "a pet owner's final choice." it featured the heavenly days animal crematory and the woman who started it.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/
2008/02/27/AR2008022701055.html
http://www.heavenlydays.com
of course, it's something one hates to think about, but with me, we have a cat, who [knocks on wood] is a one year-plus cancer survivor, so it looms in the back of the mind.
but happy belated b-day k-dude...
Klaus is the best dog ever.
How much do I love Klaus? He's the utmost. Forget about freeze drying, here's what Klaus deserves:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rT2OF9brOow
Love,
Garth&Claire
roy - it's really a good thing dogs can't read. (or can they). glad to know your kitty's ok. and thanks for the new nickname for klaus - it's going on the list.
holly - i know. he sends a big wet dog kiss.
garth! ew! of course the end result of the mummification thing is a little classier, i can put it right next to my monkey sculptures i got at michael jackson's favorite store. he sends a couple more wet kisses and you and claire.
that's "at" you and claire.
Happy Birthday to Klaus!! He's looking good at 12!
That website is utterly creepy, considering the animals in the photos have already ... uh ... undergone treatment.
And it takes UP TO ONE YEAR to have that done!! Just imagine the happy day a year later when the FedEx man finally arrives with Rover in his protective cooler.
So when Glendon's cat died recently, we found out that there are no legal pet cemetaries in NY. You can have them cremated alone for $150+ or with a "group" for like $75. We ended up burying her illegally.
Sorry for depressing details.
klaus is a masterpiece. i'm smitten. terrific post.
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